Saturday, September 24, 2011

The dark before the dawn

Teaching a a very difficult job. You can plan what you think is going to be the best lesson, and it ends up falling flat. You also depend on your students to be successful to prove that you are doing your job. You must contact parents that may or may not care about their student's achievement. And you come home with loads of papers to grade. It's tough. I love it, but it's tough.

The last couple weeks have been daunting, draining, and lonely. I have been overwhelmed with everything I have to do. Last week, my principal informed me that I have been appointed team leader for math models. It adds more work to my already full load, and I wish they had told me sooner that I had acquired a new role. Yes, it is a blessing that so soon they have noticed my God given ability to teach children, but it will definitely be more work.

I have been feeling somewhat depressed because of my diabetes. I think my understanding of my disease is changing. It's no longer new; now it's something that I will have for the rest of my life. Yes, I have all this new technology (which is awesome), but it is still a disease that I have to manage.

My attitude has been all wrong through this situation. I have been so depressed and helpless that every time I see my Bible, I don't want to pick it up and turn to the only person who can really lead me through my problems.

Then Friday morning, the Lord provided me with some encouragement to help me through my struggles. Chelsea brought me a Homecoming mum to thank me for all my help I have given her over the last few weeks and to help me feel better after my couple rough weeks. Friday afternoon came along and I met with my appraiser, she told me that I was doing a good job from what she could tell in my walk-through (even though my kids were testing).  She also informed me that my commitment card from our faculty meeting was one of the best ones. The Lord just reminded me that He has given me this gift to relate to teenagers and teach them math but more importantly about His love for us. Taking a step back to look at why I am really here brings a little perspective to my recent struggles.

SO thankful that my life belongs to Him

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