Since school started a few weeks ago I have been faced with this calling of boldness. I have been shy about my faith and my beliefs instead of being bold.
A few weeks ago, I was having a conversation about living/not living together before marriage, and I just didn't really say much because I was afraid of getting made fun of or not being liked. I felt like I was in high school again. Later that day, I said to myself, why do I care what they think? I have chosen a path that I know I am called to. Why should I be ashamed?
Then twice this week, I had students ask me if I am going to have kids. I answered someday, but I am not married yet. It blew my mind because they said...well that doesn't matter. Again, I didn't say much when I really could have used it for a teaching moment with my kids. It does mean a lot to wait until marriage to have sex/have children. And waiting to have children when you/your spouse are ready, not because it's an accident.
Yesterday, I had a student ask what my purity ring was all about. I really didn't want to talk about sex with my 17 year old male student. But I could still have used the situation to proclaim my faith, and why I have chosen to wait until after I am married. Instead, I was afraid of what dumb high school kids think of me. I tried to explain in the most unawkward way possible, and he said, "man miss, that's really cool." I was floored because he reacted like this was a new concept for him.
I don't know why God has placed me at this particular school, but I do know that I can be a light in a very dark place. But before this can happen, I need my priorities straight. The Lord needs to be number 1. When he is number 1, he will provide the boldness that I am scared to have in my daily life at school. That requires me to make some sacrifices when I don't really feel like following after his plan, when I am lazy/apathetic, or there's a really great tv show on.
Thank you for loving us enough to die for our incompleteness. Please forgive us for our faults and worldly desires that turn us away from YOU. Fill us with YOUR boldness and not our own temporary actions. Open our eyes to YOUR plan, and turn our desires towards YOU.
Sincerely, your people
I pray this for my life and yours. I am so very thankful my life belongs to Him.