Confession: I am not a consistent journaler.
I wish I was. I love going back and looking at what I thought was important at that particular time in my life. It's usually kind of entertaining.
Last night, I was really convicted about the lack of time I have been spending with Christ and instead spending it with Facebook and Twitter or TV. Anything that is mindless and won't challenge me in any way. So I came home from Bible study and went directly to my journal to listen and write to the Lord and spend some time worshipping.
I ended up finding an old journal where I kept prayer requests from my junior year of college. I came across my prayers from October of 2009. They were interesting, convicting, and encouraging to say the least.
First, I prayed for where my future was headed for the next year and a half (which would have gotten me through graduation + some). It was really fun to see how the Lord led me through that time period which contained so much more than I could have ever imagined on the day those requests were written. Through that next year and a half I went through ups and downs with my parents as I decided to apply for a mission trip they didn't support, ended up on a different mission trip to El Salvador (a trip they did support), got diagnosed with diabetes, graduated, found and started my first teaching job, and was later laid off from that job. Crazy time period in my life, but the Lord's faithfulness was unimaginable.
Next, I prayed for a boyfriend/husband. That's still being prayed for.
After that, I prayed for the mission trip to Turkey that I felt the Lord calling me to. What I didn't know at the time was the Lord just wanted me to follow Him no matter where it lead, even if my parents did not support me. I followed. Ultimately though, God was leading me to El Salvador, where the strengths He had cultivated were used so much more fully.
Further down, I prayed for Him to calm my fears about teaching. I thought this was funny now that I am almost at the completed 3 years mark. There's still fears, failures, and growths...every day.
Lastly, I prayed for the continuous desire to fill my life with distractions. Clearly this is still an issue and probably will be for the rest of my life. I have this disease that prohibits me from saying no, which means my life gets busy, crazy, and sometimes unmanageable. Then, when I get home, I have no energy left for the really important things, so I mindlessly stare at the TV or computer screen. I guess this one is still being prayed for too.
I just thought it was fun to come across the Lord's great faithfulness in answered prayers.
- Sometimes the answer is no like the trip to Turkey. I was glad that was a no. El Salvador was where I was supposed to be. Not a single doubt in my mind about that.
- Sometimes the answer is wait for God's timing. I am definitely still allowing Him to help me find contentment in the waiting.
- And sometimes the answer is YES. He will take care of me and watch over my future because he knows the wonderful and rough things that are coming, and He is going to lead me through no matter how light or dark it may seem at the time.
Something about last night showed me how much I needed to be reminded of God's glory, perfection, omniscience, and power and to praise Him for those things DAILY.
Here's a verse that meant a lot to me during the time period in which these requests were written:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.