Today, I leave to go back to Rwanda to work with the teachers there. We will be helping them improve their lesson planning abilities by working one on one with them in the schools. We will also be assisting with a spiritual leadership conference for the teachers from all four communities with child sponsorship (Kigali, Bugesera, Kageyo, and Kayonza).
Be praying for:
My health. Diabetes complicates EVERYTHING, but God's got this. He did last time. I'm not worried, but it doesn't mean I don't need to be praying for it.
My heart and the teams heart, that we will be humble to be used in whatever way God has. So often, Americans go into places thinking their way is the best, but in reality we have so many things to learn too. Pray for humility and flexibleness.
The hearts of the Rwandans we come in contact with. Pray that we can share God's love with them in a way that they understand, that only comes from our perfect, loving Heavenly Father.
Safe travels for the next 24 hours.
Pray for the Lord to teach me(us) new things about His character. He has also been leading me in new ways in my prayer life and the precious time I choose to spend with Him.
I will miss you all but will be back in 2 weeks!
XOXOXO, Connie
PS The Dream Boys are up for sponsorship now that they have completed the program to get off the streets. If you feel lead to sponsor one of them, click here and search under "Dream". They remind me so much of my NHS boys, it's insane. I was crying just looking at their beautiful faces last night, wishing I had more money to give every month. This particular boy threw some sass at me the afternoon we spent with the Dream boys on trip 1. Kinda adore him, so this is me finding him a sponsor. :)
All I could think on Monday was, "Why didn't people warn me about how hard teaching is?" Problem: It had nothing to do with classroom management, students being challenging, or lesson planning. It really had nothing to do with "teaching" but was more about all the other little things that aren't necessarily blatant in our job descriptions. It was nothing I had ever experienced before in three and a half years.
Teaching has been a place for me to build special relationships with amazing children. Some of those children drive me nuts and some of those children love me so much that they call me mom (some of those children are one and the same). Sometimes I even feel like their moms. I cheer for them at sporting events and applaud at their concerts. I buy all their fundraising junk and try to sell it to my friends. I'm a parent to teenagers at 24 years old. CRAY.
But loving teenagers unconditionally is a frightful place when you know heartache is a possibility.
On Monday, I found out that one of my students currently enrolled in my class died over the weekend. He had been fighting his most recent battle with leukemia since early December. He was enrolled in my advisory last school year during the spring semester and later ended up in my Math Models class last fall. I was thrilled to have him in class again and to have the opportunity to get to know him better.
Other students have passed away since I started teaching, but this was a first for me and my classroom. I'm not really sure what the best way is to find out about terrible news, but finding out about his death from a student who saw it on Instagram in the middle of class was not ideal. I was instantaneously a mess. *Connie, weeping in front of your students will not help the situation. Get it together!* Thankfully I waited until Tuesday to talk to the class he was in; I didn't cry, but it was close.
I'm not sure if I didn't realize losing one of my babies would be hard, or if I just didn't let myself think about it. Probably the latter. I now know first hand what it's like and this is your official warning: losing a student is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to experience. I hope I never have to experience it again because I love my kids more than I realized.
It's a love that makes my heart hurt when they are hurting and rejoice when they are rejoicing. It has helped me understand how the Lord feels when we face troubling things, reject His plan, or celebrate His perfection. His love is much more perfect than the love I have for my kids, but I can see how much more he hurts and rejoices in our situations, good and bad.
His funeral was Thursday, and I was glad I was able to go. As I drove up and saw the hearse, the tears were uncontrollable as they are now as I write this. The funeral was full on Catholic mass in Spanish, so I had absolutely no idea what was going on. Honestly, it didn't matter. His mom was weeping and hurting along with his family. I know how much I've been hurting this week, and it doesn't even compare to the love his mother has for him and how much his family will miss him.
I was pleased that his heart came through during the funeral even with the language barrier. Since he knew he was going to die, he had written letters to his mother and siblings to be read. I understood bits and pieces, and the heart that I had seen in my classroom was the same loving spirit I heard on Thursday.
I will miss him, but more importantly his life will have an effect on how I behave. Life is so short and the way I treat my students makes a huge impact on their lives. Every day with them is a gift, and I want to use each moment to be a positive influence in their lives. His death made me want to love on my kids even more and be more patient with them since my time with them is so temporary.
My challenge to you:
1. Love your kids a little more than you do right now
2. Be more patient with them because they are kids after all
3. Be a positive influence in their lives, you might be the only one
It's hard to love them as much as I do knowing that my heart can be so easily broken, but I wouldn't change it for anything.
This week, we've been state testing. (YAY...not) I have been pushing the kids a lot over the past few weeks to prepare for the Algebra 1 End of Course Exam and praying that they finally pass this time. I teach a low group of kids. They struggle with math and always have. We fight the battle every day of giving up and not trying if it gets the least bit hard. It can be frustrating, but many days my eyes are opened to where their struggles began in math. Such was the case today.
Since we're testing, I knew throwing new information at them was useless. I decided to make them do some puzzles. I figured this will be fun, they will work together, and they will finish in no time. WRONG. A few thought it was fun, a small number worked together, and they didn't finish.
Here's how things went down.
Monday:
4 kids and I worked on one 1000 piece puzzle. I told them to find the edge pieces, and they looked at me with bewildered expressions.
Me (in my head): ARE YOU TELLING ME THEY'VE NEVER DONE A PUZZLE BEFORE?! Ok, Connie, calm down. Teach them.
So I proceed to show them what the edges look like. We move on and the four kids begin to figure it out. They are enjoying themselves and work silently for 2 hours. MAGIC.
Tuesday:
The whole class of 19 is back in my room, so we will continue the puzzle trend since it was so fun the first day. I have three puzzles around the room, one already started (from Monday) and the other two still in the box. I let them choose which puzzle they want to work on, I say go, and they all get started.
Then, the complaining begins.
Me (in my head again): ARE THEY REALLY COMPLAINING RIGHT NOW? They are doing puzzles.
So as patiently as possible, we have a mini lesson on doing puzzles. I explain it's a little overwhelming to approach the whole puzzle all at once. Start with the edge pieces. Then move through the puzzle focusing on smaller portions.
Do they listen? Of course not.
They continue to complain that the puzzle is too hard and sit there chatting instead of working.
A little frustrated at this point, I sit down and work with each group hoping they'll get an idea of where to begin. Most of them don't.
Why is this so puzzling? *excuse the bad puns*
Taking a step back, I try to figure out why this is so difficult for them.
Many of them haven't done a puzzle since they were young, and it was probably a very small puzzle.
They lack logical and spatial reasoning. (things we've learned in Geometry but obviously not mastered)
They don't try to simplify things. They just get stuck at the big picture and refuse to move on.
Problem solving skills are lacking.
They don't want to work together as a team.
This is convicting for me. What have I taught them this year? Did I teach them skills or just how to pass a test? Or are they just not able to transfer the skills they have learned? How could the year have gone differently, if we had done this first?
I have to remind myself that I did my best with a tough group of kids and remember where they started in August.
But let's come back to the last question. How could the year have gone differently, if we had done this first? I think it could be a really great activity for the first week of school. It introduces team building, geometry (edges, rectangles, shapes fitting together), and problem solving in a simplified way (breaking big problems into many smaller ones).
I'd definitely start with smaller puzzles (~300 pieces). Since the kids struggle already, start small, and build up to a more challenging level. Each team would get a puzzle all with the same number of pieces, they have one/two class periods to work on it, and there would be some incentive for the team that finishes first.
The other thing I must remember is not every kid agrees that my way is the best. They may be slow, but they are struggling through. This is a good thing. I'm really trying to not be Sheldon... :)
Many of you have heard that I travelled to Rwanda over spring break and have decided to return in June! I am SO excited about this and cannot wait to see how the Lord will use me for the glory of His kingdom. I love being able to be a part of something that is so close to my heart, job, and who God has created me to be.
The March trip was amazing and God used it to renew the focus of so many things in my life. While we were there, we did not “do” a lot in the sense of a mission trip, but we met with and encouraged the people who serve there day in and day out. We also saw many of the ministries within Africa New Life. The day care, beauty academy, and sewing classes were beautiful pictures of how the Lord is providing for Rwandan families long-term. The schools and child sponsorship are also major focuses, and this is where I personally fell in love. I knew the moment I stepped into the Baby Angels classroom at the school in Kayonza, that I would be returning to Rwanda to help the schools in some way.
My church in Houston, Grace Bible Church, is taking a trip to train the teachers at the three Africa New Life schools in June. The thought of returning in 3 months brought me to tears, and I knew the Lord was calling me to go back. During the two-week trip (June 6 - 22), we will have in-classroom teaching time where we will look at lessons, observe classrooms, and collaborate with the teachers. Some of the other time spent there will be for a spiritual and leadership conference. I will also get to see Erick again, which is an added bonus!
Many of you have already been faithful in your prayer support for the March trip, and I wanted to update you on how you can be praying for this trip.
Please pray for
My diabetes to behave (my numbers were PERFECT on the March trip! Thanks for your prayers! God is SO good!)
The Lord to prepare our hearts for ministry in Rwanda
Our hearts to be broken for the devastation that occurred 20 years ago in the genocide and to be sensitive to it
The Lord to prepare the hearts of the teachers and students that we will encounter
Safety and encouragement while we are thereThe team of 6 to raise the funds to go and for me to raise the funds to go again (~$4,000 per person)
If you would like to support me, there are two ways:
1. Mail a check made out to Africa New Life Ministries. DO NOT write my name on the check. Print this form and mail it and your check to:
How has it already been a week since we left Rwanda? Hard to believe.
Over the last week, I have spent an entire day with my students talking about my trip to Africa, I have had countless conversations about my experiences, and I have shared my love for my sweet Erick.
The things that I have shared barely scratch the surface of my trip. There isn't enough time in the day for me to share everything the Lord has done in my life, in my heart, and in the people of Rwanda, but here are a few things that have touched my heart even more deeply now that I am home.
First, I realized all the more how in control of EVERYTHING the Lord is. A HUGE prayer I had going into the trip was for God to take care of my diabetes and blood sugars. Seriously, this can only be explained by God. My blood sugars have NEVER been more consistent and spot on since I was diagnosed. He is in control. Of everything. All the time. Even when we forget or doubt. It's encouraging, awe-inspiring, and amazing all at the same time. Such an answer to so many people's prayers. Cool stuff people. Thanks for praying for me!
I have also been thinking so much about Erick. How his life is so different than mine. How his concerns are different. How his family is different. How his education is different. How he has so little and is still very happy. It baffles me. How has God given me this amazing Christ-centered love for a child halfway around the world, when we are so different? I have so much and yet I complain about numerous stupid things every day. He sure does put things into perspective for me. I miss him and truly want the best opportunities for him. Changing the world for one. It's why I sponsor him. It has and will continue to change his life, his family's life, and his community's life. Change the world for one and I guarantee it will rock your world.
Another conversation I've had many times this week has been about my job. I was feeling the monotony of lesson planning, grading, kids who don't want to care, listen, or learn, and politics. I needed a break, but not just one away from school. I needed the Lord to light a fire in my soul again of why I love my job. Rwanda did just that. Pouring into others instead of coming home, sitting on my couch, and staring blankly at the countless TV shows I watch every week completely changed my heart for something outside of myself.
When we went to the Africa New Life School and saw how the children craved learning, selfishly all I wanted to do was stay and teach there instead of in the US. BUT, why would I move there when there are plenty of teachers in Rwanda that are great and need jobs. (Ok Lord, I see now it's NOT what you're calling me to...). But, what they do need is training so THEY can pour into their own culture, people group, and raising the next generation to love and serve only Jesus. Being a teacher in the United States, I have SO many opportunities to go to teacher trainings. I am forced to get so many hours every year in order to keep my certificate. I've been fortunate enough to go to Twitter Math Camp (and am going again this summer) to learn more things than my brain can possibly hold. They don't have those opportunities to the same extent as we do in the US.
With all that being said, the biggest thing I have struggled with after returning is do I go back in June. My church is taking another trip to spend time training teachers. We would leave the day after the last day of school, I would have to take some days off of work, and spend even more money than the first trip. All of those things together terrify me. I foresee the busyness that my life will become (even more than normal) if I decide to go back. BUT if this is what God is calling me to, how can I say no. He's got EVERYTHING!
I know he's calling me to go back. That was evident immediately. It fits perfectly with who the Lord has created me to be. My imperfect humanity comes in when I begin to look at the circumstances. My money, my time, my friends, my family...the part that keeps coming up is MY. It's not mine. It's our heavenly Father's. I should trust Him with it. So be praying for the Lord to grow my faith in Him and my willingness to surrender it all to the One to whom it belongs.
The Lord used this tiny country in the center of Africa to totally change my life.
If you're a teacher and would like to come too, let me know.
If you would like to support adventure #2, let me know.
