Worthless Idols

I've been dwelling on a situation for awhile now. I've been praying and seeking the Lord's will, but He just wasn't answering me in the ways that I wanted Him to. He wasn't doing anything in my time table, and I was becoming really frustrated. This morning as I was reading and praying, the Lord revealed a special truth to my heart. It was of course convicting but empowering at the same time. He knows how to break us apart just so He can build us up to be more like Him. It's beautiful and painful, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I've been reading through the Bible chronologically. Right now, I am about 60% of the way through His Love Letter to us, which puts me in Jeremiah. The Israelites have been turning away from the Lord (for what seems like forever), and the Lord has been telling them about the judgement and captivity that is to come. This morning I read Jeremiah 16:19:

Lord, my strength and my fortress,
my refuge in time of distress,
to you the nations will come 
from the ends of the earth and say,
“Our ancestors possessed nothing but false gods,
worthless idols that did them no good."

The Lord penetrated my heart and the things I've been dwelling on. They have taken precedence over my relationship with my Heavenly Father. They've become idols or false gods that are doing me no good like the verse says. 

Q: How can I be living a life that reflects the radiance of my Jesus if there are things that are more important (AKA worthless idols)?

A: I can't. 

It sounds so Debbie-Downer-ish, but I don't think it is. Realizing I will never be perfect on my own but being able to sit under his glorious grace and mercy fills me with such joy. He should be my strength and my refuge instead of me worrying about this situation on my own. He wants us to share the things weighing on our hearts and minds, so he can carry them for us with his infinite strength. 

My encouragement to you: If there are things weighing you down (I'm sure there are...let's be real here), they may have become an idol in your heart. Let the Lord have them and then trust that His plan for you is perfect (easier said than done, I know, but it's a process). It may not be your timing or the way you think you want it to work out. BUT his plan is worth waiting for, and the way we find that is by seeking after the Lord FIRST instead of seeking after worthless idols. 

I am so thankful my life belongs to Him. I wouldn't have it any other way...sometimes I just need reminders. 

Twitter Math Camp 2013

This past weekend I had the privilege of attending Twitter Math Camp 2013. This conference is quite possibly the nerdiest thing I have ever been a part of, which is (of course) awesome. I wasn't really sure what I was getting into when I agreed to go with two of my coworkers, Jonathan (@rawrdimus) and Andrew (@froynboy), but I knew I was in for an adventure.

Thursday morning we walk into Drexel University and begin seeing all these amazing math teachers. I immediately feel inadequate and overwhelmed by the greatness in the room. I am definitely a noob to the MTBoS and teaching in general and (I am fairly certain) the youngest attendee at TMC13. So there were a lot of reasons for feeling that way, BUT thankfully that didn't last long!

I started off in the Geometry morning sessions where Tina (@crstn85) and Megan (@mgolding) shared some great ideas to help make my Geometry classes/lessons more powerful and meaningful. The second morning we had some great (and deep) conversations about what is important for the students to learn from Geometry, mathematics, and classroom structures. Almost immediately, I knew I had some major changes to make for this upcoming school year. I also realized that few of us were feeling super awesome about the new school year and we all have things to improve upon. Bonus: this is where I made some cool new friends...Jessica (@algebrainiac1), Lisa (@lisabej_manitou), and Stephanie (@reilly1041).

Fawn's (@fawnpnguyen) Conway's Rational Tangles and the Game of SET session and Jessica (@algebrainiac1) and Anna's (@Borschtwithanna) Effective Cooperative Groups and Group Tasks session were other personal favorites that kind of go hand in hand. Fawn's session encouraged me to do more fun things with my kids that tricks them into thinking deeply about math. I teach the traditionally lower performing students, who don't think they could ever be good at or like math. The two and a half years I've been teaching have pretty much been my attempt at breaking away from the traditional classroom model, but it always ends up looking more traditional than I want it to. Goal for the year is to implement more problem solving and meaningful group tasks into my classroom that doesn't always end in one right answer.

Now for my BEST take away from TMC13. This happened at Interactive Notebooks. I have attempted to use interactive notebooks the last two years and failed somewhere around February. I didn't really know what I was doing wrong, and I couldn't figure out why it wasn't working the way I wanted it to. Enter Megan. She presented an organized approach to interactive notebooks that made it finally click why it had not worked for me before. I wasn't requiring enough structure for my kids. I also think deep down I didn't really care whether they kept track of it or stayed organized. (At least my actions in class didn't reflect my caring about the notebooks.) It also helped SO MUCH for me to create my own notebook during the session. Sometimes I just need to experience the doing of something before it makes sense. You should definitely consider joining the #INBjamboree.

Basically, Twitter Math Camp is the best professional development I have ever been to, and I will not miss the awesomeness next year. 

The top 10 fun/crazy things from the weekend:

1. I rode a train and a subway for the first time.

2. Jonathan, Andrew, and I survived a ride in an unmarked cab. I do not recommend trying this.
3. Mary (@marybourassa) was a pretty awesome roomie!
4. Food Trucks changed my life. 

5. Insomnia Cookie is the best late night snack. Ever.
6. I learned a new word...nerdgasms. It's a real thing especially when exploring Desmos.
7. I ran five miles with some new sweet friends! Thanks for pushing me Lisa (@lisabej_manitou) and Anna (@Borschtwithanna)!

8. Straight guys are afraid they might actually like jumping pics, so they refuse to join me.

9. We got to see some #merica sights.

10. I survived 5 days with the crazies alone. Love them a lot. Glad I got to hang out with them.

The Wind

My heart is heavy today because of some family situations. I decided to sit by the lake this morning to spend some time with my Jesus reading and praying. I wrote down some of the things weighing on my mind and still felt very overwhelmed. As I put my head back against the chair, this beautiful breeze began to blow. I can't really explain it, but it was like The Lord just said it will all be ok and the wind just took away my concerns.

As my eyes filled with tears, I praised my Heavenly Father for being perfect in everything we are faced with on this earth. I still don't have any idea how this situation is going to work out, but He is sovereign through it all. Having his precious peace wash over me was just a small reminder of that. 

Allow Him to be the provider of your peace today (and every day). Lean into Him. He wants to carry the burdens for you. It's why He died for us and was resurrected. He loved us that much. He wants to spend eternity with us. 

I am so blessed and thankful my life belongs to Him.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Through the valleys of life

I was chillin to Pandora this morning and this song started playing. I had heard it before, but I never really listened to the words. As the Lord used the words to speak to my heart about the things that have happened over the past few years, I felt like some of the burdens I have been carrying for so long were lifted.

The song is "If You Want Me To" by Ginny Owens. It's kind of old (1999) but it's truths are still so real. It talks about how we choose to follow the Lord despite the difficulties of life. We choose to persevere through these things because we know God is going to use them to shape and mold us to be more like Him. His promise is perfect though: it's not going to be easy, but he will walk through it with us.

Each phrase of the song made me think back to where I started with my Diabetes diagnosis. It hasn't been easy. It has sucked sometimes. BUT I know that the Lord has walked me through EVERY step, change, and challenge. It has completely shaped the way I have followed the Lord over the past three years. I have chosen to continue being faithful to God's calling for my life not because of anything I did, but because he chose to die for me. His suffering was way worse than anything I will ever face.

It was such a blessing today, that I think Chris and I might sing/record it together. It'll be cool to share these special truths with my brother!

Enjoy...

The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear

And I don't know the reasons why you brought me here.

But just because you love me the way that You do

I'm gonna walk through the valley if you want me to.

Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step

And I'm clinging to the promise You’re not through with me yet.

So if all of these trials that bring me closer to You

Then I will go through the fire if you want me to.

And it may not be the way I would've chosen

When you lead me through a world that's not my home

But you never said it would be easy

You only said I'd never go alone.

So when the whole world turns against me

And I'm all by myself

And I can't hear you answer my cries for help

I'll remember the suffering that your love put you through

And I will go through the valley if you want me to

Faithful Friday!

Praise the Lord!! Spring Break is here!!

After two long weeks of testing, covering nontesting students, and crazy schedules, some rest and family time is going to be great!

Looking back over the last few weeks/months, I have had an overwhelming awareness of the faithfulness of God. Prayers have been answered, peace has been given, friends have been comforted in the loss of family members, and so much more.

This week especially, the Lord has been my Provider and Sustainer. School has worn me out, but He has used sweet people in my life to build me back up.

Monday: Claire had her Pre-UIL Concert where I got to witness her piccolo playing in a full band setting for the first time. It warms my heart to see how my choices in life have affected and challenged hers.

Tuesday: We finished our study of 1 & 2 Thessalonians with Beth Moore. It has been a great time of learning and growth in the Lord. All I can say is "for not all have faith, BUT the Lord IS faithful." Such a blessing.

Wednesday: Growth Group is always fantastic, but we have been talking about evangelism and different ways to talk to others about our faith. Through those conversations/scriptures, the Lord has reminded me of my need for Him. My pride so often gets in the way of my relationship with Him, but recognizing my brokenness has been crucial in seeing his faithfulness this week.

He has been so gracious in ways that we have not earned. I am thankful for his faithfulness and being able to recognize it despite the busy week. The more I spend time in his word the more I see his hand in my daily life.

Spend time with him today and watch for his perfect plan. You will be challenged, but it will be worth it.

I am so thankful my life belongs to Him!